im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
