At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
