She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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