All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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