Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
