I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
