"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
