I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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