My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
