I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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