Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
