I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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