1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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