Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
