ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
