How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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