I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
