Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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