I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
