we're chasing vodka with high fives
I need to stop coming to work sober
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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