Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize