GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
