Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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