Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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