But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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