I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
