they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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