You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
