I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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