He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize