I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
