Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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