I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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