the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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