No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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