I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
