if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
