her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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