party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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