I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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