At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
