Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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