There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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