Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In other news, I just burned my penis
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
