On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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