ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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