Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
