these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
