6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
how can u be prego again
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
