I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize