that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
