And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
