I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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