as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
