susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
