i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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