I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize