At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
