I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
