coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
