There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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