I feel like abortions should bother me more
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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