just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
