people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
