yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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