My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
