I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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