my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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