You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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