Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
