did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
