her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I want a musical about memes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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