yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
