i just google imaged poop.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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