Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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