DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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