Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
