: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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