I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
