I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
