apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
