No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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