i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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